My feelings, they are slowly fading away. I have been hurt so much I haven't been feeling the pain. I just want the real me back, my real smile, my true happiness. I want that back, I want my childhood back. Yeah that, that's what I want. I just want a real R.O.D, someone who will be there for forever. TRULY. I have one who I truly trust and she is in this class. Ni-yana. But that isn't just what I'm feeling, I just want someone who will listen to what I am going through, and not judge me. Someone who will be there with me through it all, step by step, just how I would be for them. Someone who understands how I feel.

 I just want that one thing called happiness. That's all I want. My life is falling apart I just don't know what to do. My family doesn't have time for me, I'm just alone.. I don't know What to do with myself. What to do with my family. Or what to do with Life in general. I just can't do it anymore, I have tried and tried, to keep my head held high, and a " smile " on my face but yet I can't stay strong anymore. I don't even know how to live anymore. I have no one. I just want SOMEONE to care, and not walk away in my life. Like all these fake liers! I'm tired of crying at night until I go to sleep, I'm tired of trying and trying when people don't see the difference. But most of all don't see ME. They judge me on the outside, but don't know why I do what I do. They laugh at my actions but don't realize they are why I do it. They just don't get it. And this is how I feel but no one will care anyways, so I might as well quit trying. I GIVE UP. But I'm not alone in these feelings, I know others out there are feeling this too, but I don't know how to help them, when I can't even help myself. Can I just get my life together ?! I Just want to feel accomplished, important, and recognized for what I do right, and not what I do wrong. All I hear in life is this or this isnt right or youre wrong. 

Can I just hear good job or there you go , you did it . Just for once in my life?

 Im just tired, Tired of sitting in a dark room alone, tired of trying, tired of crying, tired of living, but most of all tired of feeling alone and empty. Im Tired...